and the point of all this is………………..

Posted: 26/11/2010 in ravings of a mad woman

And once again (with a rather big sigh) it starts. I am referring, of course, to the first snow of winter. It has arrived even earlier this year and it seems to everyone that the crazy freeze of february is just a distant memory. To me however, it is not. I’m sure the bruises I got from sliding ass over apex into a bus stop on the near polished glass surface of the pavement have only just gone down. Luckily last winter I only actually managed to cluster my way onto my face twice but I must admit I did it with style on both occasions. Unfortunately both of these instances were only 15 minutes, but a mere 50 yards apart. This is the time it took to pick myself up after aforementioned near magnetic attraction between my face and the side of the bus stop, dust myself off, make it look like i meant to do it and then catch my balance enough to continue along my way. The irony being that I was, in fact, on my way to catch a bus home and both of the injuries occurred because I was foolishly using my mobile phone to text the “Dude” to tell him how icy it was and that I had changed my mind and no longer wanted to go home after all! The second spill came at the end of the street and nearly resulted in me being propelled across the super slippery floor and under the wheels of a car (luckily waiting at the traffic lights!). Now my big problem with the cold and depressing weather is not the cold itself. Nor is it even the snow (unless it actually gets in the way of my life and gets me into trouble!). My problem is the street gritters. Now they’ll happily drive around in the dead of night spraying their cargo across the highways and byways of the UK, getting salt all over your car and sometimes even chipping windscreens and rusting your wheel arches away to nothing by the end of the week (not mine of course, I drive a Smart) but they seem to fail to get anywhere near anything resembling a pavement. I don’t particularly care if people decide to go out in their cars in such weather and slam into a lamp-post or letterbox, but I don’t like seeing little old ladies, just braving the cold and ice to get milk so they can warm up in their freezing houses with a nice cup of tea, slipping and sliding and cracking hips on the icy pavement. We all know that once the snow settles and people spend all day walking in it and turning it into a wonderful mix of sludge, mud and childs mittens, it only goes and freezes again over night. This of course leaves a most beautiful polished and shiny surface for me to go and mangle my face around a bus stop on! I have reached the conclusion that this winter (especially as it has decided to start so early) my only choice is to start wearing studded golf shoes all winter to avoid any future mush mangling. As you will have already become aware, I spend a great deal of my time in Studentville, and we ALL know how overly excitable students can be. It had barely been snowing 20 minutes this afternoon when you could hear the excited shrieks coming from girls running down the street and jumping around in the snow. Now there was nowhere near enough settled to be making into snowballs so I can only hope that in some vain attempt to scrape together enough to throw at someone, their assailants had caught up some rocks, plants and maybe even the odd small furry animal. Now that’s my kind of snowball fight! Of course I’m aware that snow is a novelty for most of us as it’s not like we can know for sure when it’s actually going  to happen, and it is a thrill in much the same way as an extra day on the end of a heat wave; But a heat wave wont disrupt public transport, cause millions of accidents on the country’s roads and mean thousands of kids being kept off school just to get under everyone’s feet and on everyone’s nerves. Yes you may throw open your curtains of a morning and scream “YAY!! SNOW!!” but just stop and think about it for a minute. What are you actually going to do with it? You’ll go outside looking like a drab coloured staypuft marshmallow man, you’ll make snowballs with your massive gloves which will get soaking wet and freezing cold by ball number 3 so you’ll end up taking them off and can only make another 2 before you lose not only the feeling in your hands but also the will to live. You”ll drag your friends or children around on a sled (or baking tray) until you get hit by someone else coming down the hill with no brakes, but you won’t be able to get to A&E because the roads are almost impassable so you’ll just have to put an ice pack (or a chunk of some poor childs snowman) on your injury and keep your feet up. This for me is what this weather is all about. It’s just like lying snuggled up in a warm bed when you can hear the rain pelting your window. I love nothing more than knowing that there is nothing so important that I need to venture out for it. Staying in your PJs all day and watching the snow fall outside your window with a nice big mug of hot chocolate and a warm man. Snow is something beautiful to behold yes, but I don’t want any part in being out in it and catching the most ungodly cold and then being FORCED to stay in bed anyway! I don’t know about you lot, but I’d rather staying in bed through choice than necessity. At least for now it seems to have subsided but I can almost guarantee that it won’t be for long. As it is a Friday night I would love to see how all this sudden weather we’re having will affect the hoards of clubbers heading into Cardiff to party. Needless to say I don’t think there’ll be a sharp increase in the number of coats or thermal underwear because as we all know, Long Johns and a rain mac are not “pulling aids”.

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