The great toe day challenge and other such spillings…..(19.08.09)

Posted: 18/10/2010 in ravings of a mad woman

I really need to sort myself out. Once again I have fallen back to my old ways of not actually getting anything that REALLY needs to be done, done. I wake up in the morning (yes, that’s when I actually go to sleep at night) with every intention of seeing through the days tasks, and damn well doing them properly, but then by the time I’m actually fully functional enough to do something I have lost both the drive and the inclination. I have to phone the job centre back, I have to phone Ann Summers before they set their lawyers on me, I have to both clean out and medicate my rabbit (and clean out the guinea pig too of course, but he doesn’t require any specialist attention), I have to tidy my room (not that it really matters cause I’m stuck in there for the foreseeable future anyway), I have to GET A JOB!!! Oh, and maybe a new shrink but I’m sure that can wait for a bit now that the possibility of me going postal has been seriously diminished by the fact that I no longer have access to the weapons lockers! Anywho, I know it has been a while since my last blog, but that may be slightly in part to my continued lack of drive. I did in fact start one last week but it escapes me now quite what it was about other then the rather strange trip to Londinium with Lucy for purposes of arty fartyness which didn’t really come to fruition anyway. As in, we went to the Tate Modern of course, but that’s about as far as it got. We did however encounter two rather strange Irishmen on the tube who entertained the carriage with music and jollity. I did get a video of it but alas, my computer doesn’t seem to like videos from my phone so I have yet to find a way to upload it to good ol’ facespace. It was on this trip to the great Londinium however, that I was regaling Lucy with tales of the wondrousness the “Dude” and I discovered with my toes (like tiny lil stubby fingers they are! not in a gross way you understand, as in, not like ACTUAL fingers, but they are remarkably strong and bendy and kind of like monkey feet). This then lead to Lucy and I deciding to start the “Toe Day Challenge”. This would quite simply be an entire day (yes, I mean a full 24 hour rotation) in which you are not allowed to use your hands for anything and have only your toes to rely on. Now, one of the biggest, most important and to be totally honest probably one of the ONLY problems I will encounter on said Toe Day, will be the fact that I smoke rollies. Now, I could either buy a packet of actual cigarettes (yes I’m sure the extreme dexterity I have in my toes will allow me to remove a cigarette from a packet and the fact that the “Dude” has just bought me a Zippo lighter means I’m sure I’ll actually be able to light it too-yes, I really am THAT freaky!) or make a load of rollies prior to the day beginning. Would any prior preparation to make life easier for myself be somewhat cheating? I fear it might and I may well have gotten in over my head with this one! dammit, I’ll give it a go, what have got to lose? Hardly my dignity as I’m sure no one will actually be around to witness it, my sanity maybe (well, the tiny sliver that’s left of it anyway) and knowing the way my joints are I might end up throwing a hip or something but come on, no pain no gain. Ok, so I won’t actually be GAINING anything from this but at least it gives me something to occupy my time which is, after all, exactly what I need.
Coffee break!
I am still in mourning for my giant mug. I went off on a “bit of a mad one” a couple weeks back and went on something of a cleaning frenzy in the kitchen. This may well have something to do with the fact that I’d gone spoiling for a fight with my old man the day before and had a little panic attack afterwards, and the mood hadn’t improved much. To get to the point, whilst picking up the kettle to make a coffee in the late giant mug, I knocked a smaller (I’m sure it’s just got some sort of inferiority complex cause it’s properly tiny in comparison) mug off the hook under the shelf and it landed straight on the giant mug. The poor thing shattered sending coffee granules and sugar flying through the air and I very nearly did shed a tear. The upshot of all of this is I am now back to using stupid, normal sized mugs for my coffee which is not a good thing by any means. I used to use 3 (maybe more) HEAPED teaspoons of coffee granules in this giant mug, but it was ok because the mug was truly mahussive. Now I have to use almost the same amount in a normal mug which means the resulting coffee is more like a sort of gravy! Ok, so maybe it’s not actually THAT bad but come on, it’s not really all that good either is it?!
I have resolved to be slightly more pro-active today and I’m thinking I might try phoning the Careers Wales office and try and get some help. My problem is, as you all well know, I’m not one to settle. I don’t want a job, I want a career. I want something I can happily do for the next few years, not just the next few months. I’ve been thinking about maybe something like crime scene cleanup, just because it’s a bit different. I need something that’s going to be different every day, not just the same old repetitive crap that more than doubles the risk of me killing vast amounts of people within the first 72 hours.
Here goes!

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