Has it really been that long?………….(02.08.09)

Posted: 18/10/2010 in ravings of a mad woman

Morning all!
This may well end up being some sort of hardcore bumper blog as it seems to have been quite a while since my last, or it might not be all that long as, knowing me, I’ll probably get bored half way through and just leave it!
I have just returned home from a week’s camping with my sister Ry, her hubby Geoff and their 2 “lively” children (their next-door neighbours kid was with us too but she went home half way through the week) and whilst I was away I did once again return to trusty pen and ink to commit my rambling thoughts to eternity (as you all know, if I’d simply left it all until now to write I would have totally missed several rather important points!) and wrote out a few pages of nonsense while I could. The following is a combination of all of these ramblings and maybe a few extra points just for good measure!

Here I am, on my own (SERIOUSLY MATE?! ON MY OWN?!) In a pub in the campsites entertainment complex, having just done karaoke. Yes, I got up and sang to a half empty pub and made a bit of a tit of myself as usual. Granted it wasn’t totally my fault; the timing on the track was seriously out of whack! Shut up, it’s not an excuse! Ok, so we’re at the very end of day 3 of the great “Day Family Camping Expedition” and all 3 children are still intact. But seriously, what a week!!! It was my birthday on Monday (22 at last!) and I spent pretty much all day surrounded by screaming children. Then it was off to the pub for a few with Flick, Steve and the parental units (mother did manage to get rather tiddly) and ended the night with the “Dude”. So far I’m on pint number 2 (having already had 2 bottles of Stella earlier in the evening – one of which was with Ry, sat on the wall outside the launderette trying, in vain I might add, to recapture some glimmer of our loutish youth of ‘boom and white lightning in the park or outside the local SPAR- and I’m starting to feel the effects. This is part of the reason I feel the need to write this now. I came to the pub after everyone else decided ’twas sleepytime and I thought otherwise, as usual. This is actually being written on a rather long strip of till roll with a pen blagged from the oh so tasty barman (who Ry managed to totally embarrass me in front of yesterday by informing him of the comment I’d made about his rather nice hands!) and was also given a ‘card’ by one of the bouncers-bless him, he’s trying! Ah, no sign of the Gelfling though. I’m determined to try and find out his name at least! Long story there but the short version states that I did spy a guy on Saturday night who, in profile, had the most astonishing features. I mean, I swear to god he’s a Gelfling! Cute though with super A sideburns! Last night I had to rescue my sleepwalking niece, TWICE! That was interesting. She better not try it again tonight, not that it really matters to me because she’s now sleeping in with Ry and Geoff. But still, she’s more likely to wake me up first!

No, it wasn’t Jenna that went off on sleepwalking jolly last night. ‘Twas me! Should have seen that one coming really. It’s a long time overdue and it’s just my luck that it’ll happen when I’m miles away from home and in totally unfamiliar surroundings! Luckily I woke up in time to realise what I was doing and stop myself from taking my sleeping bag with me to the toilet block in the middle of the night. I do believe I was talking some sort of inane gibberish too but luckily no one has mentioned anything!

Ouch. I be bruised oh so just a little. For no reason then for your own entertainment I shall break with tradition and attach a picture of the rather impressive bruise on my arm to this blog. This is a war wound as far as I’m concerned. It was obtained whilst Archerising with Jenna at Heatherton on Thursday. I had to keep her both accompanied and entertained for some three odd hours while Geoff and Robert went off to play paintball. Ry was with them too but I fear for her it was less of a sport and more a case of pure sadism. “Shoot me! Shoot me!” the cries did ring throughout the West Wales countryside. She took great pleasure in running across the playground towards me when they got back shouting “Check this out!” Luckily it’s currently Friday which means its home time tomorrow. It has indeed been a rather interesting, action packed week.
Oakwood Monday,
Manor House Wildlife Park Tuesday, (for the record, never take a child on a bumper boat unless they have a half decent sense of direction! I ended up with a seriously wet backside and it took 2 days for my shoes to dry out!)
Heatherton Wednesday and Thursday and then out on the boat fishing today. For all of these activities I’ll still be glad to get home. I know I can’t be left on my own but I’m the one who needs a carer. I wasn’t designed to be in the continued company of children for 48 hours let alone a whole bloody week! My continued scratching at the back of my head will no doubt have resulted in two small thinning patches by Tuesday. All I can say is I’m glad I brought my hat with me. It at least created some small barrier between head and fingertips. Which then unfortunately, leaves me to scratch or, as is more often the case, rub my thighs instead. Luckily I don’t think I’ve done that whilst I’ve been inadvertently staring at the Gelfling (whose name I am destined never to know) or super-bar-fly (who’s name I have finally discovered is Noel. Bless, it’s not his fault!) I need sugar. Although saying all of that I have no idea how I’m going to cope on my own all weekend. Thankfully Owen fancies meeting up for a chat possibly Sunday so that’ll kill a couple of hours. It’s going to be very strange going from hardly having any time to myself other than when I’ve been to the shower block, be it to the toilets, showers or just to charge my phone, to being almost totally alone until at least Tuesday. I can almost see me sinking a whole bottle of wine to myself Saturday night just a.) Because I can and b.)Because I’ve got nothing better to do!
*just so you know, it’s currently 7:15 pm and no, no sign of a bottle yet!*
I’m sat next to an ice cream stand. That’s just bad planning on my part I think!

Now I’m home and, as I knew I would be, alone I’m ever so slightly slipping into madness I fear. My wife is off lord knows where with her new boyfriend, the dude is nowhere to be seen and everyone seems to be in town tonight. That sounds like such a great idea right now but alas I have no money (what’s new?!) so now not only do I have nothing to do, I have no one to do it with! Anyone coming to rescue me? Na didn’t think so!
Oh well. Watch this space, you never know, I might decide to do some more midnight baking again!

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