Dressing like a lady?!………(03.10.09)

Posted: 18/10/2010 in ravings of a mad woman

Dear readers,
For the last few days I have been dressing like a lady! I know some of you will be reading this wondering why I should feel the need to tell you this fact, whilst the rest of you (those who know me even just a little) will be sat there slightly agog and almost speechless. Fear not, and pick your jaws up off the floor for I have not gone mad. Although I know it is somewhat out of character for me to be showing off my legs (yes the really DO exist and are not merely the stuff of legend) by the fact that for 2 days in a row I was wearing a skirt, and yesterday I was wearing my super sexy 30’s style high waisted trousers (I know, I actually own clothes like that!) and a blouse and looking all together rather smart and girly, but I simply thought I would try something different. I know the girly look actually suits me better than the over sized boy-fit jeans but dear god do I love them. I decided that maybe a change in my appearance, no matter how trivial, might go some way to helping with my current mental state. However you may rest easy safe in the knowledge that this transformation is in no way permanent and normal service will be resumed shortly. Another fact that you may be slightly shocked to learn is that I actually finished a painting. It was a work of semi-modern, fashion based art that I started sometime back at the beginning of the year for my good friend Lucy. Having witnessed the pile of unfinished masterpieces in my bedroom growing steadily bigger and bigger over the last 6 months or so and having blanked out my super huge canvas that has to be kept in the spare room simply do to its size; I deduced that maybe it was time to do something about it. I am, however, still faced with the dilemma of what to do with the aforementioned giant canvas (and I mean giant, by home standards anyway, it is roughly ¾ the size of a single bed). The original painting that was on there was something of an H.R. Geiger style work that came to be known as “Blind Faith” that involved a blindfolded, semi naked woman being suspended in some sort of tank with wires and pipes protruding from all over her body. This genius idea was begun somewhere in the reign of 3 years ago and never got much past the drawing stage with maybe a few dabs of paint here and there to remind me of what I was supposed to be doing with it. Needless to say I lost inspiration for that idea hence the blanking out. The next idea was some sort of modern, Jackson Pollack style splashing and smearing but alas I am slightly lacking in both the quantity of paints needed for such an undertaking and the funds with which to purchase them. The final idea, and to be honest the one I’ll probably end up running with came about with some help from my old school chum Chris. Granted among his suggestions were some sort of landscape or a unicorn (of all things!) but as most of you will know I have no real mastery of classical style painting which is why I tend to stick to the cartoon style or just simply modern art. This did however help act as a sort of sounding board and I came up with the idea to do something similar to the painting for Lucy. I’ll probably end up doing a series of 3 of my dress design figures along the canvas each in different, yet ever so slightly seductive poses. Of course I’ll be using my own designs to do this so no copyright based lawsuit action be needed. Maybe one day I’ll see this one through to the end too but I’m not making any promises. As with anything I always start off with the best intentions and such enthusiasm but it lasts all of an hour maybe (if I’m lucky) and then it’s “I’m bored now!” and on to something else. My mother always used to tell me that its only boring people who get bored, and that’s always stuck with me and may, in fact, have something to do with my critical self doubt; if I’m bored, does that make me boring? Luckily I have you fine people to reassure me that is not the case and the reason I’m bored is simply because my brain decides that doing several things half assed is actually better than doing one thing, and doing it well. No, that’s a lie. Almost everything I do I do well, I just don’t necessarily do it properly. Cutting corners is the way forward people, trust me, unless in doing so you’ll be endangering people’s lives, we can’t have that now can we?
Mother dearest agreed that buying me a few Tai-Chi DVD’s would be ultimately WAY cheaper than sending me to another shrink, and might even help me loosen my super clicky joints, so I have started learning Tai-Chi. I must first say I was amazed at just how much it works (even dearest wifey agreed when we did a little session together yesterday – after the giggling had subsided of course) and after just one session I seem to remember myself being the very embodiment of chill. One might possibly equate it to be something like being a little stoned but obviously that wouldn’t be me, for I would never advocate such behaviour, honest Guv!
I got to have my first go at clay pigeon shooting last weekend, and it has taken almost until now for the soreness in my shoulder to subside. Yes I am but a simple woman and as such am rather delicate (as “the Dude” keeps reminding me!) and do, in fact, bruise like a peach. Well, more easily than that I would say but I can’t really think of anything right now that bruises that easily other than a banana, and I can hardly imaging the phrase “bruises like a ‘narna” catching on!

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