caffeine takeover………….(15.06.09)

Posted: 18/10/2010 in ravings of a mad woman

Current mood: uncomfortable
Ok, so I havent blogged in a while, but I thought it somewhat necessary to sit here, in my little box of a room (studio/downstairs spare room full of crap) looking past the monitor at what should be a window, but alas was bricked up several years ago cause the chavs (although they weren’t known as chavs back then) around here can’t walk down a lane, see a brick and a window and keep on walking! Sorry, totally off the point there but that’s just how I’m feeling right now.
Those of you who know me even just a little will know that I have an attention span comparable to a hyperactive toddler who’s just eaten all the blue smarties (again, back in the days when the blue smarties were just made of pure sugar, not like now! everyone’s too busy worrying about e numbers and shit to make the sweets-remember people, sweets are bad for you ANYWAY!!!! Leave them as they are!!!- to make sure anything actually tastes good) shit, sorry, wrong meeting!
Anywho, I digress. To be totally honest, I seem to have once again greatly increased my caffeine intake and it is not having the best of effect. I have become more then just a little bit twitchy and I have decided that, considering it is nearly 7 of the clock and I havent eaten anything all day, I should probably go and find some sustenence -or however you spell it!- but alas, my father is continuing with his effort to get the kitchen looking somewhat presentable and I fear that should I go in there, not only will he tell me to fuck off for trying to make something to eat while there is wet paint everywhere, (yes, cause I’m planning on smearing my food all over the walls thus beginning the transference of both food to wall and paint to food) he may well try to stuff a paintbrush in my hand in a bid to get me to help.
Yesh, cause that’s such a good idea right now! I’d probably end up getting more paint on myself than the walls!
“Go out and get something!” I can almost hear you all cry. no seriously I can, its gotten that bad I’m sure there’s someone calling me every 5 minutes! but I’m afraid I can not. For you see, I am a bum, and so totally shit with money I have none left. I couldn’t even pay for the dress I attempted to buy the other day. yes, you read that right, I, yes, ME, had the intention to buy a DRESS!! Not just a dress but also a pair of seriously sexy, 80’s style high waisted trews and a tailored jacket, all 3 of which came to the astonishingly grand total of £13! So it would seem that I am mearly resorted to fresh air and fags to keep me going for the forseeable future.
Bored? No, bored does not even BEGIN to cover it! I’m actually considering gnawing my own legs off and replacing them with some sort of massive springs just cause it seems like a fun thing to do. Plus it would make getting around a bit more interesting, and slightly less calorie intensive, what with my distinct lack of car these days.
I mean, sure, the old man has gone and insured me on his lovely new car, for all of a month, but I’m not allowed to just go jollying whenever and wherever I want. Nooooooooo I have to use it for sensible, business related matters. That’s another thing, I need more bookings! come on, how hard can it be to convince women to part with their cash and buy some new undies or a nice piece of pink (or whatever colour you choose) vibrating plastic that’ll keep you company on those lonely nights?!
Maybe I should stop this now, this desk is too high and the sides of my hands are starting to hurt from resting them on the edge of it. grrrr
Right, I’m off to find something interesting to do. I have been told I should really keep my sisters new boyfriend entertained while she’s out, but how can i do that without being accused of trying it on?! I cant think of nice, clean ways to keep someone entertained right now!
Maybe I’ll go and work on my plan of action for getting a job, maybe I’ll work on my strategy for world domination (na, too much like hard work!) but if I do end up going with the springy leg idea, I’ll let you know; and if it doesn’t work out I’m sure you’ll hear all about it on the news.

  1. James says:

    Almost tempted to adopt the springy leg idea, if you need help with your arms to become a cartwheeling slinky machine let me know. 😀

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